In this end post of our 5-part series, we will finish looking at the final 11 of the 29 questions we posed to ourselves (see Your Personal Responsibility In Cleaning God’s House – Part 2), all of which were windows we could look into to examine how we both view and live out the major themes in our lives – which determine their quality and outcome. Let’s finish this up:
19. How do you feel when someone thinks you are wrong?
20. What conflicts do you have in life?
21. How do you manipulate people?
25. List the dramas in your life.
(Questions 22 through 24 will be answered in the next section)
As a whole, your answers to the above questions will reveal your unworkable actions and the associated consequences that you endure, i.e. your conflicts in life. Most conflicts occur within relationship, where they mirror the inner conflicts of those being related.
We think others make us wrong, but it is only events that open an old wound within – those damaged places where we think we are wrong – we make us wrong.
Other conflicts arise when we try to manipulate others into being like us, so that we can justify our strategies in life.
All of our conflict-generating behaviors spawn the recurring dramas in our lives. Drama will cease when we get a clear picture of how and why we have been doing life, that has not brought us peace and love and commit to doing otherwise – replacing strategies based upon false beliefs with workable stratagem founded upon the truth.
22. How do you listen in a conversation?
23. What are your fears?
24. How do you avoid the present moment?
27. List you impulsive behaviors.
(Question 25 was answered in the previous section and 26 will be answered in the next.)
Most people don’t listen in conversation. Notice that conversation only takes place in the present moment. Many people see the general unknowable-ness of the present moment as their greatest source of fear. Thus, everyone is running from the present by way of impulsive behaviors: zoning out in media, immersing themselves in busyness, or indulging in addictions. They are clamoring for relief from their inner conflicts, but they only wind up with temporary blindness. The conflicts continue to grow because their roots are not being addressed. The only way to resolve conflict is to seek truth.
26. Who do you feel has abandoned you?
Nothing is permanent. That’s why we must stay present to those who are meaningful (that should be everybody) in our lives – present to receive the unique gift(s) that only these people were meant to bring. Once you receive them, you can hold the people and the gifts in your heart forever.
You have no control over whether someone leaves you or not; but you can examine the series of events that preceded that exit to find out if you contributed to it. If you did, (without judgment) make the necessary corrections in your beliefs and behaviors so you don’t rinse and repeat in your next relationship. If you were not a factor in their leaving, it was a problem that your partner had and wasn’t willing or ready to resolve it with you – nothing personal!
28. What meaning do you bring to your emotion?
Emotions are just thoughts with energy attached. They come and go against your will, so forget about trying to control them. You don’t have to hide them. Instead, you can choose how you act them out through changing how you relate to them, by dropping the false, unworkable meanings that you’ve attached to them. Sit with the energy of your emotions. Listen to the conversation in your head at the time and see what your body is doing. Consider that you can do this emotion differently and that truth will bring you peace.
29. What do you cling to?
You cling to whatever it is you’re afraid of losing; yet we’ve seen that everything in this universe is only on loan. Ironically, the tighter you cling to something due to fear of loss, the more moments you lose to enjoy it while it’s there.
It’s far better to hold everything in the palm of an open hand so that the blessing of that gift can be received and then passed onto the next person it was meant to bless. In so doing, your open and empty hand is now ready to receive your next gift…
Now, 29 questions later, you have a pretty clear picture of how you see life, what you think about it, how you react to it, and what those views and knee-jerk reactions have cost you.
Clearly, most of us have been going through life with a distinct disadvantage. We’ve been trying to make the best of our lives while simultaneously fostering a mind infestation that distorts our reality and everything in it – including ourselves. We can only rise above our self-induced crippling by eliminating the toxic environment that is the source of it. We need to clean house and invite reality (God) to come home. When we invite the truth and stand by it, we’ll see that the voice in our head (or any other source of opposition) cannot stand in the face of it.
How we do that is by thinking in a new way. That new way is not really new, we’ve just been turning our backs to it. It is God’s way – a way that places amongst its core values both compassion and acceptance.
To be continued…
Goodnight and God bless.