Divine Relatedness

We’ve spent a long time examining how most of us have taken on a life of unconscious living – brainwashed by unworkable ideas that have been handed down since Adam and Eve. We looked at the problem, what it costs us, and finally we’ve been engaged in how to return to the way God designed us to be and to live.

It begins with having love, acceptance and compassion for others and ourselves for having been submitted to the wiles of the adversary. It requires that we live in the present moment, leaving the past behind and forgetting about a future that hasn’t happened yet. We have to root out all forms of fear (including anger, jealousy and envy) and replacing them with the peace of God. We must recognize and acknowledge that God knows what He’s doing – that the way He made us is perfect and we don’t have to wear some mask to hide aspects of ourselves we (mistakenly) believed were unacceptable. Finally, we learned how to communicate with love.

This brings us to the exciting culmination, which is to just be you and offer up that same authentic self for relationship! After all, every single facet of our existence lives in relationship. Thus, it behooves us to have them be stellar.

God created us to be related – to Him, to ourselves and to each other. Our relationship with God is the foundation for our relatedness to everything and everyone. When we turn inwardly towards our Creator, we will finally understand who we are; and if we come from that place, we will attract others into relatedness with us.

Everything we’ve ever been looking for is within. Who we are is prefect and always will be. (Note: I’m not addressing the issue of ‘original sin.’ It’s a given that countless scholars have developed over the centuries and does assuredly required the saving grace of salvation, but that’s outside of this discussion.)

As God’s perfect creation, we have no reason to look outside of ourselves for love, approval or acceptance. We only need to give it to ourselves the way our Father does. In fact, we must direct love towards ourselves so that we can nurture our love and ourselves before we can give it away. The primary reason for relationship is to offer our love – the love that God gave us first.

Then we will be in a place where we can make contributions instead of only withdrawals.

It may be true that you missed out on healthy loving relationships in your past. However, you now know that everyone did the best they could with the tools that they had. So you can stop the blaming and forgive them for their unconsciousness as well as pardoning yourself for judging them.

Furthermore, God uses relationships for healing. We can provide the love and nurturing for ourselves that we did not receive, and then be open to let that love and nurturing flow into other relationships as well.

A loving relationship is one wherein we can admit our fears, take risks and have the freedom to fail – all within a space where retribution and abandonment are never given consideration. It takes a lifetime of practice to accept, know and love ourselves and others, yet if we can allow each other to be our true selves, it becomes a continual source of joy-filled discovery…

Let’s talk about the relationship itself. Healthy relationships form, take root and flourish only if they are founded upon a love that is freely given by both participants. Otherwise, all that you have is the experience of an emotional attachment. And, as we’ve seen countless times, that love must come from the love you have for yourself first. You can never find what you don’t already possess in your own heart. Thus, you must become what you seek.

The good news is that deep down, you already are that lovable loving person. You only have to let him or her come back to life.

You know when you’re not experiencing love. It’s when you feel that yearning for peace, joy, understanding and the loving touch of a human heart. It happens when you fall back into or continue in your old ways of being. When you are thinking and acting unconsciously, you are not being whom you really are. The only thing true about you is that you are perfect love. Anything else is a lie.

When you find yourself mired in your old spot, take that quagmire to your meditation to dissociate yourself from the old false beliefs about you that you have re-entertained. Ask your powerful questions: ‘Are these beliefs true? How am I robbing myself of my relationship with my perfect self? How have I been living my life? What kind of actions have I been taking in order to keep these beliefs in place?’

Acknowledge that you have experienced pain. Look to see if you helped create it and apply compassion.

Happiness is what happens when you experience peace, love and joy. Stay in the present moment and ask yourself repeatedly, ‘Are my thoughts and actions conducive to my having these?’ If not, replace them with those that are. Drop anything that is not connected to love. Be there for yourself. Ask God for the strength to never give up on you.

You are the only one who knows exactly the way you need to be loved. Love yourself in that way first. Having done that, you will be able to go ‘out there’ and have loving relationships with everybody else. You will bring your love, acceptance and compassionate understanding with you. It allows you to touch another person’s pain and realize that we’ve all had that same pain at one time or another. Your defenses will melt in the face of the newfound connected-ness that you will have with the human race. The word ‘enemy’ will no longer find a home in your vocabulary.

Once you’ve already filled yourself with love, you will have created an open space for others to choose whether to love you or not and it will not matter what choice it is that they make. If they choose to love you, you can co-create a new synergistic love relationship. If not, you won’t take it personal and will bless them inwardly with your love – wishing them the best life possible.

To be continued…
Goodnight and God bless.

Discovering The Pattern That Separates You From God – Part 2

In part one of this series, we examined the meanings of the first 2 of 29 questions (that you’ve hopefully answered) which are designed to reveal the pattern of how you live your life when you’re living it by the ways of the world – the ways that separate you from God. Let’s continue…

3. What causes you sadness?

First, let’s take a look at what sadness is. It is a normal emotion, usually preceded by loss. We grieve over the loss of a favorite thing, a pet, or a loved one – dealt to us by death, absence, or abandonment. Life always changes, as do the players and playthings we share our life with. It is the natural progression of things.

‘Being sad’ is what we do when we contemplate how that loss affects us. It’s how we’re wired. It’s natural to grieve and then to get over it. You can bring your sadness to your meditation, praying to God first for insight. You will see that sadness is a way your heart tells you that you have a hurt, which needs to be healed. When you recognize the hurt, you can ask Jesus for the healing.

Conversely, if you dwell on and cling to your sadness, that feeling morphs into ‘suffering,’ and your life begins to bleed out of you. But suffering is only based upon opinions that you have and continue to hold onto. The only way to get suffering out of your world is to get it out of you.

So, if you’ve already taken on suffering as a way to be, you can free yourself by returning to your meditation (with Christ as your ally) and see how it is that you do suffering. Look at what heavy meanings you’ve attached to your sadness. Ask yourself if there is any validity to those meanings (usually not), and let them go. Sadness is only an emotion – a burst of energy with a physical sensation attached. Any other meaning you’ve attached to your sadness is meaning-less.

What if you just acknowledged your sadness and chose not to make yourself, others, or the world wrong because you feel that way?

If there were a little child standing in front of you who was feeling sad, wouldn’t you be led to comfort him or her? How about you comfort yourself? You can do that while you are meditating about your sadness by acknowledging that this is one of those moments where you need to give yourself more love and compassion. (When you do this, you more readily connect with Christ’s love and compassion, because love becomes more recognizable.)

Ask yourself, ‘Why am I sad?’ Look at all of the reasons you’ve lain at the root of your sadness and question their truthfulness. Ask Jesus to reveal anything else that you are suppressing or denying so that you can scrutinize those as well.

Here are some common roots of sadness:

a. I lost my car, dog, spouse, child, etc. – regardless of the reason why:

It’s okay to be sad over these reasons, but we must grieve and then move on. Life is all about change, so there will always be loss. But think about this: in most cases, it’s not a certain thing or person who brings you joy, it’s the change in the state of your heart when they are in your presence. Your spiritual heart makes a joy-filled imprint of that state, so that you can reach inside and touch that joy at any time. So in reality, nothing ever leaves you. Keep in mind that any illusion that you are separate from others is the most common root of suffering.

Coming out of sadness is accomplished by reframing your thinking, by tapping into your heart more than your head. It’s about changing your focus from ‘They’re gone from my life forever!’ to one of ‘I’ve been so blessed to have had them in my life and to be able to hold onto the treasures they’ve left behind in my heart forever.’

b. I’ve done horrible things. I’m a horrible person.

Maybe you have done horrible things, but who you are is still perfect. You were preoccupied with an illusion of what you thought you had to engage in, to survive life. Everyone has committed transgressions that they wish they had not. Ask God to forgive you; He promises that He will. (2 Chr. 7:14). Therefore, you have His permission (and His mandate to you) to forgive yourself.

God only asks us to do the things that exhort others and ourselves. What we also need to do is to stay alert for the moments when it is necessary to make ‘course corrections’ when we slip back into the world. As we do that, we can again pray for insight, go to meditation and examine our ways, and root out the unworkable ones. The thing we do not want to do is beat ourselves up. We sally forth and do our best without worrying about whether or not it’s perfect.

c. I had a horrible past. (To be examined in question #4.)

When you suffer, acknowledge that you’re holding onto something. Question why that it is, and ask yourself if that’s a wise thing to do. (Not!) Then, let that something go. Keep applying unconditional love and compassion to yourself and your suffering will be replaced with joy. Go and do the same for others. Nothing helps you get rid of your suffering more effectively than helping others get rid of theirs.

A glad heart makes a cheerful countenance, but by sorrow of heart the spirit is broken. Pr. 15:13 AMP

4. What is Your Life Story?

Meditate on every sentence you have written in your Discovery Journal. Ask God to show you what is real. Have you embellished your past? Replace it with the truth. Realize that your Life Story was co-authored by you and that voice in your head. No one on this planet will have the exact same viewpoint as you, so it’s pointless to defend it.

Upon deep examination, you’ll see your story as a plethora of unexamined beliefs, judgments and opinions that you’ve attached to the events in your life. Out of that, you’ve made some people larger-than-life and gave them power over you that they did not have. You’ve also brought judgment against yourself for what you did or didn’t do. You changed the way you live your life to protect yourself from what you thought your past taught you.

More than likely, you’ve also surrounded yourself with people who have similar sufferings, so that you can validate and keep your Life Story alive. It’s that story that keeps you sad, because you continually relive your regrets in your head. Thus, your present time is just an extension of that same false past.

It doesn’t matter if your past was truly horrific or if you made it mean something horrific. The outcome is the same. Even though your Life Story is riddled with lies, it is where you turn for guidance.

What needs to happen is to not live out that story any longer. That can only be done if you stay in the present moment and set aside what it is you think you know. Begin by refusing to worry about the future. Other than asking God to help you prudently plan the direction you’d like to see your life go, forget about the future. It’s not in the present; therefore, it’s not real.

When we find our minds churning over thoughts of what might happen, (99% of them never do) we can look in meditation at why these anxious thoughts are present and let them go. That way we stay open to whatever we experience, seeing how that feels, and let the meanings we’ve given to it go. Experiencing our experiences teaches us compassion for others – knowing they too have suffered for having had theirs.

There is no problem ‘out there.’ There is only life. There is nothing or no one that needs to change in order for you to have the life that you want.

Happiness is an inside job. Again, practice giving love and compassion to yourself – especially when you find yourself slipping back into your story. At that recognition, (without judgment) return to the present moment. Be patient with yourself.

In the present moment, you have the power to choose the actions that lead to a perfect life for your perfect (Christ-forgiven) self. Leave written reminders everywhere to stay awake in the present. Let go of your expectations and be open to surprise.

Practice accepting life as God put it out there. Sit still with it, instead of trying to run away from it. Life is change. When you stop resisting that, you’ll find yourself more and more in the present.

Give up any semblance of control over life and its inhabitants. God is the only One in control, thankfully, because He only has your highest and best interests in mind. The only thing that blocks His efforts is your faith in your Life Story – your faith in the lies that you tell yourself.

…he who breathes out lies shall perish. Pr. 19:9 ESV

Give up that Life Story and live.

That story is always present when you are experiencing negativity about anything. It means you’ve dropped out of the present moment. Stop whatever you’re doing and return to the breath…

Peeling the layers away. It’s a good thing. Stay tuned…
Good night and God bless.