We’ve spent a long time examining how most of us have taken on a life of unconscious living – brainwashed by unworkable ideas that have been handed down since Adam and Eve. We looked at the problem, what it costs us, and finally we’ve been engaged in how to return to the way God designed us to be and to live.
It begins with having love, acceptance and compassion for others and ourselves for having been submitted to the wiles of the adversary. It requires that we live in the present moment, leaving the past behind and forgetting about a future that hasn’t happened yet. We have to root out all forms of fear (including anger, jealousy and envy) and replacing them with the peace of God. We must recognize and acknowledge that God knows what He’s doing – that the way He made us is perfect and we don’t have to wear some mask to hide aspects of ourselves we (mistakenly) believed were unacceptable. Finally, we learned how to communicate with love.
This brings us to the exciting culmination, which is to just be you and offer up that same authentic self for relationship! After all, every single facet of our existence lives in relationship. Thus, it behooves us to have them be stellar.
God created us to be related – to Him, to ourselves and to each other. Our relationship with God is the foundation for our relatedness to everything and everyone. When we turn inwardly towards our Creator, we will finally understand who we are; and if we come from that place, we will attract others into relatedness with us.
Everything we’ve ever been looking for is within. Who we are is prefect and always will be. (Note: I’m not addressing the issue of ‘original sin.’ It’s a given that countless scholars have developed over the centuries and does assuredly required the saving grace of salvation, but that’s outside of this discussion.)
As God’s perfect creation, we have no reason to look outside of ourselves for love, approval or acceptance. We only need to give it to ourselves the way our Father does. In fact, we must direct love towards ourselves so that we can nurture our love and ourselves before we can give it away. The primary reason for relationship is to offer our love – the love that God gave us first.
Then we will be in a place where we can make contributions instead of only withdrawals.
It may be true that you missed out on healthy loving relationships in your past. However, you now know that everyone did the best they could with the tools that they had. So you can stop the blaming and forgive them for their unconsciousness as well as pardoning yourself for judging them.
Furthermore, God uses relationships for healing. We can provide the love and nurturing for ourselves that we did not receive, and then be open to let that love and nurturing flow into other relationships as well.
A loving relationship is one wherein we can admit our fears, take risks and have the freedom to fail – all within a space where retribution and abandonment are never given consideration. It takes a lifetime of practice to accept, know and love ourselves and others, yet if we can allow each other to be our true selves, it becomes a continual source of joy-filled discovery…
Let’s talk about the relationship itself. Healthy relationships form, take root and flourish only if they are founded upon a love that is freely given by both participants. Otherwise, all that you have is the experience of an emotional attachment. And, as we’ve seen countless times, that love must come from the love you have for yourself first. You can never find what you don’t already possess in your own heart. Thus, you must become what you seek.
The good news is that deep down, you already are that lovable loving person. You only have to let him or her come back to life.
You know when you’re not experiencing love. It’s when you feel that yearning for peace, joy, understanding and the loving touch of a human heart. It happens when you fall back into or continue in your old ways of being. When you are thinking and acting unconsciously, you are not being whom you really are. The only thing true about you is that you are perfect love. Anything else is a lie.
When you find yourself mired in your old spot, take that quagmire to your meditation to dissociate yourself from the old false beliefs about you that you have re-entertained. Ask your powerful questions: ‘Are these beliefs true? How am I robbing myself of my relationship with my perfect self? How have I been living my life? What kind of actions have I been taking in order to keep these beliefs in place?’
Acknowledge that you have experienced pain. Look to see if you helped create it and apply compassion.
Happiness is what happens when you experience peace, love and joy. Stay in the present moment and ask yourself repeatedly, ‘Are my thoughts and actions conducive to my having these?’ If not, replace them with those that are. Drop anything that is not connected to love. Be there for yourself. Ask God for the strength to never give up on you.
You are the only one who knows exactly the way you need to be loved. Love yourself in that way first. Having done that, you will be able to go ‘out there’ and have loving relationships with everybody else. You will bring your love, acceptance and compassionate understanding with you. It allows you to touch another person’s pain and realize that we’ve all had that same pain at one time or another. Your defenses will melt in the face of the newfound connected-ness that you will have with the human race. The word ‘enemy’ will no longer find a home in your vocabulary.
Once you’ve already filled yourself with love, you will have created an open space for others to choose whether to love you or not and it will not matter what choice it is that they make. If they choose to love you, you can co-create a new synergistic love relationship. If not, you won’t take it personal and will bless them inwardly with your love – wishing them the best life possible.
To be continued…
Goodnight and God bless.