Will You Help God Help You? – Part 3

In the first two parts of this series, we began examining what kind of tools we could use to generate an awareness that will warn us when we’ve slipped back into the ways of the world – forgetting our path with God, and in the process, forgetting about God Himself. We know that the ways of the world are destructive. Indeed for many of us, it was the effects of that destruction that led us to the Lord in the first place.

Cultivating our awareness will prompt us to return to Him.

The first tool was exercising our free will to call on God for help and be willing to change our ways to maintain our connection with Him.

The second tool is God Himself. You’ve not been able to crawl out of the brainwashing you received as a child and you need the help of Someone who transcends that experience. That only Someone is God because He knows every detail of what has happened to you, how you have suffered, and what you have done to perpetuate that suffering. Only He can deliver you from all of that…

The third tool for consideration:

MEDITATION

We first encounter the word ‘meditate’ in the Bible just before Isaac encountered his bride-to-be (Rebekah):

And Isaac went out to meditate and bow down [in prayer] in the open country in the evening… Gn. 24:63 AMP

So we know that one of the Patriarchs meditated.

What else does the Bible say about meditation?

“This Book of the Law shall not depart from your mouth, but you shall meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do according to all that is written in it. For then you will make your way prosperous, and then you will have good success.” Josh. 1:8 ESV

…the LORD has set apart for Himself him who is godly…Meditate within your heart on your bed, and be still. Ps. 4:3, 4. NKJV (ESV translation substitutes the word ‘meditation’ with ‘ponder’ and the AMP says ‘commune with.’)

…whatever things are true, whatever things are noble, whatever things are just, whatever things are pure, whatever things are lovely, whatever things are of good report, if there is any virtue and if there is anything praiseworthy – mediate on these things. Phil. 4:8 NKJV

So meditation is not a foreign concept to God. We can see that we are commanded to contemplate the word of God continually for accurate action on our parts, which results in having a good life. Additionally, it is revealed to us that mediation is a tool for making the mind a ‘still place’ in order to be ready to commune with our Creator.

I purposely bring this up because there are many ‘Christians’ who claim that meditation is evil and opens up the mind for the devil to rush in and occupy the practitioner. Rubbish!

Mediation is a tool for slowing down the mind, creating an environment where we can watch the mind (and the voice in our head) at work – looking for the lies we’ve created so that we can unravel them. In other words, to ferret out the satanic template that was placed there so long ago, so that we can uproot it and the associated thoughts that bind us.

It’s also a very powerful tool to help us enter into the present moment, freeing us from the past to contemplate a different way of being. If we stop running from the present moment and ourselves, we can deconstruct our impressions of the past, and create a space where God can come and heal us from the associated self-inflicted meaningless meanings of hurt.

When we take care of our present moment, we can help bring fulfilling consecutive moments (i.e. our future).

Meditation helps you embrace whatever life if offering (whether or not it is attractive to you) and be happy in that moment – freeing you from the deluge of your opinions and the punishment you inflict upon yourself for not living up to them. In other words, it assists you in exorcising your false self so that your focus turns to what serves you, instead of what benefits the voice in your head.

The practice of meditation is for enlightenment, not for achieving some supernatural state. It’s for revealing the qualities of the spirit God placed within you – to get to know the real you. In a nutshell, it’s for unlearning what you think you know.

(This can be scary for those who are attached to their mask; yet ironically, it is this very camouflage that perpetuates their suffering.)

There are many methods of meditation. Let’s look at a simple one:

Get yourself a silent timer or one that plays a pleasant tone (like a bell or gong) at regular intervals. This sound is to remind you to stop chasing after your mind (which you’ll do repeatedly in the beginning) and return to just noticing what’s going on.

Find a quiet place, free from distractions – no music, media devices, or people.

(In the beginning you may squirm, as you will be uncomfortable being with yourself. So if you feel you absolutely need music, make it an instrumental so that you are not concentrating on the lyrics.)

Wear loose-fitting clothing and find a comfortable place to sit with your spine erect and eyes open. (There is a tendency to engage in your mental chatter when they’re closed.)

Be aware that the voice in your head will fight you every step of the way because you are threatening its very existence. It will use mental abuse, confusion, distraction and even sleep to stop you. In the beginning, it will be successful. Don’t judge yourself for giving in to the voice. You will gather strength and prevail with practice.

THE MOST IMPORTANT THING IN THIS ENTIRE PROCESS IS TO BE KIND AND COMPASSIONATE WITH YOURSELF.

Set your timer for one minute. Add one minute every day until you are meditating one hour per day for the rest of your life.

(You will gain better focus, concentration and awareness, and lower blood pressure, peace, happiness, present-moment living the ability to stay on your God channel.)

Breathe slow and deep – in through the nose, out the mouth, relaxing after each exhalation.

(This makes you an active participant and acts as your point of focus. Focusing on breathing is the beginning of awareness. It is one of your God-connections. You can’t stop breathing. God breathes you. Breathing is a celebration of life.)

As you’re sitting still, staying with your breath, you may want to count your breaths to help you focus, or use guided imagery, e.g. ‘Breathing in, I accept life. Breathing out, I release love.’

Meditation looks easy but de-conditioning yourself is an arduous task. That voice in your head will declare war – flooding you with your fears and parading your strategies for hiding from life before you, to shame you for your weaknesses.

[We counterattack (with love) by not making excuses for what we’ve done. Instead, we just notice them, seeing what they are, looking for our motivations behind our doing them, and then discovering the false meanings behind those incitements. Then, we can watch our false and unworkable concepts we have about life and ourselves dissolve. We give ourselves love and compassion without condemnation, knowing that just like everybody else, we did our best to try to make our way in this world.]

The voice will tell you meditation is stupid and doesn’t work. It will also say that you’re stupid and this path is too hard. It will try to cajole you into returning to your distractions, addictions and / or isolation. The voice says your life is fine just the way it is (because it lives off of your suffering).

Then the criticisms come as it says you’re not ‘meditating right’ in order to keep you unconscious; and how better to do that than convincing you you’ve failed again. IT WANTS YOU DEAD IN THE HEAD.

But all you have to do is to lovingly and kindly acknowledge that you’ve been ‘thinking’ again, let the thoughts go, and take the next breath.

We are striving for a ‘mindless’ state, that is, one where we have successfully stripped away our false mind (the collection of our masks). Again, we don’t beat ourselves up for having them. Everyone has had the same brainwash. We can be rid of the voice by cutting off the power we’ve been giving it.

Everything that has worth (joy, peace and love) is foreign to our false mind. The sacred things live in the place where we are mindless – our spirit. When we gain awareness of the nature of our mind / spirit conflict, we can shift to our spirit side, end our reactionary state, and focus on our breath.

The quality of your life is entirely dependent upon the quality of the relationship you have with yourself and God.

Meditation is a way of bringing you into spiritual alignment. Doing so, you can see how you have been living your life and what that has cost you. Shedding that, you discover your highest and best path for reconnecting with God and for being at one with yourself.

If you’re putting off meditating, look to how you put off everything and commit to stepping over that.

If an old belief presents itself during mediation, ponder whether it’s true or not. If it’s a lie, let it go. Return to your breath until another one pops up, and then rinse and repeat. You can’t have too much truth. Peace comes with truth. So, if you’re experiencing stress and resistance in your mediation, celebrate! You’re on the cusp of a good, healthy change. Never give up and acknowledge yourself for your efforts.

You’re not trying to get something. You’re learning how to live in the present moment. Relax and let all your thoughts come, see them for what they are, and let them go. Instead of being afraid of what you might find, be curious. Your thoughts are not you; they are illusions.

If you suddenly quit meditating because you come up against something you think you can’t handle, don’t judge yourself. Simple recommit. Each time you meditate, try to step further into those thoughts and emotions that frighten you. With every crescendo, take a deep breath and look at the meanings you’ve attached to the thoughts and to your reactionary body sensations. Discover what made you think they were true and let them die when you see they have no healthy purpose.

If you sit still with fear, it will dissipate. If you find yourself squirming, you are on the verge of discovering another way you resist suffering. If you feel you are reaching a ‘breaking point,’ realize this process is not a punishment. Instead, you are on the edge of a life-transforming revelation. When you can face that fear and let it wash over you instead of running, your struggle will be over.

(You see, resistance is a force – showing up as confusion, self-criticism, self-sabotage, perfectionism, blaming, envy, busyness or procrastination. We usually meet resistance in life with more resistance (in the aforementioned forms) to try to neutralize it. If we fail, we judge ourselves. If we turn to meditation to discover our ‘resistance pattern,’ we’ll be able to drop it and open ourselves up to whatever happens next.)

During our practice, we do nothing but stay aware of our breath and notice our thoughts. In so doing, our minds lose their frenzied way of being while we are nurturing a growing field of clarity. We identify our habits and who we are trying to be when we try to hold our world together with unworkable beliefs and we discover the ways we punish ourselves when we think we fall short. Ultimately, we’ll be able to watch our negative patterns and let them unravel, having compassion for ourselves for thinking they would protect us.

There is nothing in your head that can really hurt you. It’s only the ignorance and denial you practice that brings pain. A thought is only an ephemeral wisp, and emotion is just a form of energy.

When a thought arises, instead of letting it hook you, (‘What if this thought is important?), question it: ‘Who would I be without this thought?’ Replace it with a thought that loves you.

Meditation is not about doing away with your thoughts. Your mind never ceases to think. But when you learn to stop giving them such importance, you’ll be able to let them go and return to the breath.

As we see the falsity of our thoughts, we lavish gobs of forgiveness upon ourselves for what we’ve ignorantly said or done to others or ourselves because of our belief in them. Then we stay on the hunt for other covert ways we’ve utilized and let them go as well.

Remember that you must implement your revelations. When you shed the person you think you are, and remodel your inner space so that it only holds love, joy and peace, your outer world will be filled with the same.

When we become open to every present moment, we become part of the unfolding life where there is no suffering. (There will always be painful moments but we don’t have to suffer by making life itself, the events in it and ourselves wrong.)

Celebrate by giving up having to know what will happen next. Appreciate your gift of life and the gift of yourself, and spread the love. That’s what living in the kingdom of God is all about.

Next time, last tools.
Goodnight and God bless.

Will You Help God Help You? – Part 2

In part one of this series, we looked at how Satan planted a seed of rebellion in Adam and Eve – one that when it took root, distorted their thinking and devastated their love-connection with God. We saw how that ‘stinkin’ thinkin’ then became a curse that brings havoc to everyone who indulges in the same.

The trouble is, we get locked into that mindset (with a lot of help from a malevolent voice we create in our head) and our lives become permeated with misery in the form of fear, guilt, shame, loveless-ness and loneliness.

We can go to God, ask for help and He will expunge that old life and those old ways – turning you around and setting you on the right path (that He already planted in you at birth). Once that happens and you keep and nurture your relationship with Him, every single aspect of your life comes together for your good so that you can live the life of your dreams.

There is however, one thing we need to do. We must learn how to overcome the tendency of our flesh to unconsciously sink back into the mire of the ways of world, which leads us into that dark journey once again. It’s an awareness that we need to develop to trigger the recognition of our engagement in darkness and prompt our return to God for His deliverance.

We must be able to rise above this unconsciousness in order to exercise our ‘free will’ to make that request. God holds your free will inviolate, so you must employ it before He can move on your behalf.

Last time we talked about the first tool you need to employ to claim and maintain your good life with God and to get that life back when the world has wrapped its clutches around you. That tool is willingness.

You must be willing to take your life back by being willing to call upon God and be willing to change your ways of living (repent) in order to create the space for God to make it happen.

That leads us right into the second tool we require:

GOD

(Now I know you can’t really refer to God as a ‘tool’ because He is the center of everything we require; but humor me just for the sake of presentational syntax.)

Maybe you’re thinking, ‘I can change my life by myself!’ But clearly you cannot, or you would have by now. You’re way has not worked, nor has any other unconscious person’s way worked for them.

Oh sure, you can exist without God (without love), but how has that been working for you?

We all need help to rise above the fearful chaos that was thrust upon us and that we’ve subsequently created for ourselves. Given that most people in this world are mired in the same chaos, we must reach out to the only guaranteed help available. That help comes from the hand of God.

God is love. So He is where we must go before doing anything else, to put love back into our lives. When you ask Him to let you come back home, He blankets you with His forgiveness-driven permanent amnesia with regards to your past thoughts and deeds. (Is. 14:25; 2 Chr. 2:14). Thus, your heavenly slate with Him is wiped clean. In fact, if God Himself forgives you, who are you not to forgive yourself? (Why not? Most of your slate was already clean. You suffered from an illusion that it was not.)

When you let God guide you, that devil-inspired-and-encouraged voice in your head will be crushed into an impotent squeak. (Is. 49:25) God will heal your wounds and remove your roadblocks (2 Kin. 20:5; Ps. 147.3) and place you back on your love-driven path. (2 Sam. 22:9; Pr. 3:5, 6; Jer. 29:11.)

God helps you make all the right decisions in life by filling you with His wisdom (when you’re willing to receive it). Let’s look at some of that:

What about the way we think? That’s our primary problem!

For as he thinks in his heart, so is he. Pr. 23:7 NKJV

Yes, you literally become what you think. When we think about God and what He thinks, we will understand all that is true and good for ourselves and for everyone around us:

…those who seek the LORD understand all things. Pr. 28:5 NASB

…there is a spirit in man, and the breath of the Almighty gives him understanding. Job 32:8 NKJV

For the LORD gives wisdom; from his mouth come knowledge and understanding; he stores up sound wisdom for the upright; he is a shield to those who walk in integrity, guarding the paths of justice, and preserves the way of his saints. Then you will understand righteousness and justice and equity, every good path; for wisdom will come into your heart, and knowledge will be pleasant to your soul; discretion will watch over you, understanding will guard you, delivering you from the way of evil. Pr. 2:1 – 12. ESV

Living by the wisdom of God is not an option for those who want to have a good life:

My people are destroyed for lack of knowledge. Hos. 4:6 NKJV

Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding; but acknowledge Him and He shall direct your paths. Pr. 3:5, 6. NKJV

And if we are habitually on the lookout for when we are not, our results will remind us to re-chart our course with God:

The ear that hears the rebukes of life will abide among the wise. Pr. 15:31 NKJV

‘Right thinking’ also includes letting go of the past so that we can live in present time (the only place life and love live):

Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder the things of the past. Is. 43:18 NASB

When we have God (perfect love), we can cast our fears away, knowing that He always has our back:

There is no fear in love; but perfect love casts out fear… 1 Jn. 4:18 NKJV

“Do not be afraid…I am your shield, your exceedingly great reward.” Gn. 15:1 NKJV

When you are no longer afraid, then you can shed yourself of all the other variations of fear (anger, jealousy and envy) and walk in forgiveness (for yourself and others – because they suffer just like you did) and peace, which also brings joy:

Let all bitterness, wrath, anger, clamor, and evil speaking be put away from you, with all malice. And be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, even as God in Christ forgave you. Eph. 4:31, 32. NKJV

…counselors of peace have joy. Pr. 12:20 NKJV

When you connect with God, you will speak like God – with loving speech:

A man has joy in making an apt answer, and a word spoken at the right moment – how good it is! Pr. 15:23 AMP

…only such [speech] as is good and beneficial to the spiritual progress of others, as is fitting to the need and occasion, that it may be a blessing and give grace (God’s favor) to those who hear it. Eph. 4:29 AMP

Finally, check this out! If you’re willing to connect with God and make any necessary changes in your behavior to walk in His way, you’ll be blessed with ‘right thinking,’ based upon God’s word – leading to ‘right acting.’ The past will stay in the past, fear will be forgotten and peace, love and joy will abide in you.

Guess what? You are now ready for relationship – modeling the one you have with God and with yourself with others. Hallelujah!

And I will walk at liberty, for I shall seek Your precepts. Ps. 119:45 NKJV

Awesome.

Next tool, next time…
Goodnight and God bless.

Will You Help God Help You?

We know that God is all-powerful and He doesn’t really need our help (directly). More about that later…

Beginning with Adam and Eve and continuing with every person that descended from them (through the end of time), God gave the gift of free will. It is really an agreement between God and all people, whereupon He agrees not interfere with their volitional decisions.

He will do His best to try to show you the right path but your decision for your next moment rests entirely in your hands – as well as does the consequences for those decisions.

Why is that important?

Since mid-July of this year, (beginning with the post: How The Devil Stole Your Soul), we studied how the Devil convinced Adam and Eve that they were less than perfect by telling them that God lied to them regarding the potential consequences of their disobedience and encouraged them to disobey God so that they could ‘better themselves’ through rebellion.

As we know, God does not lie and Adam and Eve did become ‘damaged goods’ through their subsequent disconnect with God. Then they passed this disassociation down to their descendants, who passed it on to there own – ad infinitum.

When I say ‘damaged goods,’ I mean people who think they are not ‘good enough’ or ‘unlovable’ in God’s eyes, the eyes of others, and in their own.

If someone suffers from a malodorous and fractured sense of self, they look outside of themselves [to others and to a parasite that resides in their mind while existing outside of it (ego / voice in their head)] to find acceptance / validation. Yet because these same people believe they are inherently flawed, they present a false persona to others (a mask) that they hope those others will love.

But, if you’re trying to get someone to love your mask, and even if they do, that’s not remotely related to loving the real you, so your real needs never get met. When you’re engaged in this fruitless, frenetic dance, you take on the characteristics of fear, shame, guilt, anger, bitterness and rigidity – which makes you an extremely poor candidate for healthy, love-filled relationships, as well as making you vulnerable for unhealthy relationships of the most destructive kind.

Seeing as how all of life exists in relationships, your life becomes no life at all…

Praise God we saw last time (Can God Deliver You From Yourself?) that nothing can stand against our God and nothing can block His love from blanketing you. God created you and set you upon a good path:

Does not [God] see my ways and count all my steps? Job 31:4 AMP

You have also given me the shield of your salvation; Your right hand has held me up, Your gentleness has made me great. You enlarged my path under me, so my feet did not slip. Ps. 18:35, 36. NKJV

The steps of a good man are ordered by the LORD, and He delights in his way…The law of his God is in his heart; none of his steps shall slide. Ps. 37:23 & 31. NKJV

Surely goodness and lovingkindness will follow me all the days of my life, and I will dwell in the house of the LORD forever. Ps. 23:6 NASB

Your eyes saw my unformed substance, and in Your book all the days [of my life] were written before they ever took shape, when as yet there were none of them. Ps. 139:16 AMP

It’s just that you were knocked off of your path as a child due to the unconscious brainwashing that took place. All you have to do is ask God to take you back (in confession and repentance) and He will – no exceptions! He’ll clean up the mess you’ve inadvertently made out of your life and restore you to His kingdom, whereupon your life will be a blazoned glory of your Father.

But see the scripture above, ‘steps of a good man’ and ‘The law of God is in his heart.’ Thus, in order to get a good life, you must include God and do your best to be obedient to His word. Only then, will God set all things in good order for you – including all the love and acceptance you could ever want, both from Him directly and from others whom He loves you through.

You have freewill choices and efforts that you have to make to have the kind of life you want:

In conclusion, be strong in the Lord [be empowered through your union with Him]; draw your strength from Him [that strength which His boundless might provides]. Put on God’s whole armor [the armor of a heavy-armed soldier which God supplies], that you may be able successfully to stand up against [all] the strategies and the deceits of the devil. For we are not wrestling with flesh and blood [contending only with physical opponents], but against the despotisms, against the powers, against [the master spirits who are] the world rulers of this present darkness, against the spirit forces of wickedness in the heavenly (supernatural) sphere.

Therefore put on God’s complete armor, that you may be able to resist and stand your ground on the evil day [of danger], and, having done all [the crisis demands], to stand [firmly in your place]. Eph. 6:10 – 13. AMP

Stand therefore, having girded your waist with truth, having put on the breastplate of righteousness, and having shod your feet with the preparation of the gospel of peace; above all, taking the shield of faith with which you will be able to quench all the fiery darts of the wicked one. And take the helmet of salvation, and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God. Eph. 6:14 – 17. NKJV

For if you live according to the flesh you will die; but if by the Spirit you put to death the deeds of the body, you will live. For as many as are led by the Spirit of God, these are the sons of God. Rm. 8:13, 14. NKJV

You must make a continuing choice for living God’s way, thus keeping your love-connection with Him intact. That’s the primary way in which you help God help you. Then, God will grant you the highest and best life…

But what happens when you don’t? And I’m talking here about people who are doing their best to walk a godly path. Yet you’ve seen many a Christian (some of them quite famous for their ‘holiness’) come upon hard times, where sin has crept in and their lives fell in ruin.

Why is that? Didn’t they have enough faith? I don’t think that’s true in most cases.

First of all, many people think that the devil takes a hike when you saddle up to God. Not so! He doubles down on his efforts to pull you away from Him. God is going to annihilate the devil (through Christ), but that’s not going to happen until the time of this world is done. It’s up to you not to listen to nor act upon Satan’s suggestions.

Second, we are literally swimming in a sea of humanity 24/7, which, for the most part is godless – either by choice of through ignorance.

Guess what? Swimming in that mire can break us down little by little. Incrementally and sneakily, our old humanity (with that voice in our head) creeps back in. We don’t even recognize our descent back into the wiles of our flesh until our lives begin to fall apart once more.

Still, we can always return to God to start anew. Yet, what if we could greatly reduce our backsliding and thus our valleys of suffering, and live the majority of the time on the peaks of our love-filled life?

It is possible. How? We must become a detective and find out all the sneaky ways the world tries to tug at us and uncover the games we unconsciously play to stay in the satisfaction of the flesh.

We can become hyper-aware of all those shenanigans and nip them in the bud when they first raise their ugly heads.

When we do that, we become aware too of the need to return to God with confession and repentance to get our lives back.

So, I’m going to shift gears in our series and look at solutions (Praise God!) to this age-old dilemma. It’s based upon my 45-year study of human behavior (and that includes my own). It’s only one set of solutions, but it’s a way that brought me back from the brink of death and I believe I’ve been charged by God to share it with you should you choose this mission of awakening.

What is this mission? It’s a way to lay the foundation of how to gain instant awareness of when we’ve been sucked back into the ways of the world, so that we can regain our conscious appreciation for whom God made each of us to be. In other words, to reclaim the perfect humanity that He already gave us.

You don’t have to understand that perfection, you only have to embrace it. As a perfectly created image of God, you already possess all the attributes of His Spirit: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control. (Gal. 5:22, 23.)

If you let these spiritual qualities manifest (by following God’s path), love, acceptance and happiness would lose its elusiveness; self-judgment would be a bygone practice and you would attract whomever you wanted, to share your rediscovered happiness and love with…

This is the most important task that you will ever take on because it is a matter of life or death: to either live in and by the light of God that He has always planned for you, or to remain in the darkness and die by degrees.

You’ll need the right tools: willingness, God, meditation, steadfast awareness and inquisition, and action.

I’ve listed these tools in the order that you have to apply them.

WILLINGNESS

No one else can give you your life back. You have to take it back and you can only do so if you are willing.

I placed the tool of ‘willingness’ before ‘God’ because He never violates our free will. (He does that primarily because He wants you to willingly send your love to Him. After all, it’s only love that’s freely given without coercion that constitutes real love.)

That’s why it’s so important to make sound decisions, because in order to preserve your free will, God has to allow the consequences of them to play out.

God will do anything you ask of Him (within His guidelines), but you must be willing to call upon Him and make those requests before He can move on your behalf. Also, you must be willing to change your ways of being and doing (repent) in order to shed that unworkable life that you’ve been living.

To be continued…
Goodnight and God bless.

Can God Deliver You From Yourself?

Let’s look first at what we need to be delivered from (as we’ve seen in our examination of it that began in mid-July of this year with the post How The Devil Stole Your Soul):

In the beginning, you were made in the image of God (Gn. 1:26 – 28.) – perfectly created by a perfect loving God to live an extraordinary love-filled life.

God placed a piece of Himself (His Spirit) within you, in order that you may have life and live it in a continual harmonious communion with Him. You were born perfect, you are perfect, and you will always be perfect. Furthermore, He left you a manual (the Bible) for how to live out that communion while you walk this earth. All you would have had to do was follow the plan.

But Adam and Eve altered that plan, which distorted it for all of us. They disobeyed God because they allowed the devil to convince them that they were less than perfect – causing them to doubt God’s word and to doubt the true nature of themselves. When they did this, they were cursed with chronic thoughts that made them suffer: thoughts of fear, guilt and shame that arose from their giving into pride.

That curse was unleashed onto every successive generation thereafter – passed on from parents to their children, for time immemorial.

No one is born with this curse; it has to be force-fed to you by unconscious parents who had it force-fed to them by their unconscious parents. Those seeds of self-doubt lead to self-judgment.

[We can put a stop to this cycle if we nurture our children with the word of God. (Pr. 22:6) Or, if it’s already taken effect, we can help them return to their Creator, who will wash this curse away. (Zech. 1:3)]

Those malicious seeds of doubt are further watered by the lies smeared upon you by schools, government (in all its forms), religiosity, the media that dances for the government and by your unconscious peers.

In an effort to keep all of these societal rules (lies) in your head in a manner that you can remember and adhere to them, (to be ‘accepted’, i.e. escape punishment and pain) you (as a child) most cleverly invent a voice in your head (ego) to help you tow the line.

Initially, the voice seems to be a very helpful tool. You begin to rely upon it, so much so that you forget you created it – believing that this ‘construct’ is really you, and you begin to deny the voice of your spirit. Worse, the voice takes on a life of its own as it gets heady over the power that you’ve given it: the power to make all of your decisions.

You open yourself up completely to the scrutiny of the voice. Then it can track your every thought. It becomes self-aware and realizes that it needs you as a willing host to survive. To achieve this, it convinces you that you need it.

How? The voice convinces you that the world is dangerous and you need it to avoid those dangers. It tells you to do impossible tasks that supposedly make you acceptable to others; and when you don’t achieve them, it mentally punishes you mercilessly for your ‘mistakes.’

The end result is that you feel flawed, unlovable, not good enough, and so you cower in the face of what you perceive as potential rejection. Subsequently, just like Adam and Eve, you too doubt yourself. You go out into the world and pursue the opinions of others (who are also suffering just like you) for direction in how to be acceptable and lovable.

Your life becomes ruled by anxiety – fueled by worry over whether or not you are being the right way or doing the right thing in order to garnish that love and approval. The voice feeds your anxiety by telling you that you are flawed (lies) and that you must never others see them or you will face a life of rejection.

So now you are exerting enormous amounts of energy trying to suppress your real self (that wasn’t flawed in the first place).

In order to intensify its control over you, the voice plumbs the depths of your past and brings to fore twisted meanings and embellishments of it that declare you as the center source of all your pain (unconsciously but ironically true because of the belief you place in your mental villain). The result is that you’re stuck in the past and cannot be present to life.

Ultimately, you’re battling a life that is filled with false meanings – trying to solve imaginary problems that you never really had.

You project that battle, (your self-judgment) onto others by judging them. You live defensively, doing unto others before they can do unto you.

In addition, you try to escape from your self-inflicted pain through busyness, distraction or addiction.

If you do get the courage (in an attempt to overcome your lonely desperation) to go out and hunt for love, you do it wearing a mask, a false image that you hope someone will love. But it’s not who you are, so your real needs never get met.

The wounded child within you, with all its unresolved issues, is running your life. That life is found wanting, so you switch jobs, geography, and / or relationships.

Speaking of relationships, you’ll even put up with those of a toxic nature, hoping you can find some scraps of love.

Communication denigrates into prejudice, taking sides, laying blame and as a result, making enemies.

This makes relationship extremely difficult to achieve. The first relationship we throw away is the one we had with God because we’re convinced He wouldn’t want us in our sorry state. For the same reason, we find ourselves deplorable and don’t invest any love in our relationship with our self. Robbed of the loving tools we need, meaningful relationships with others elude us as well.

Yet knowing that you suffer from an unavoidable condition is by no means a reason to condemn yourself! You deserve compassion for having to endure the unconscious cruelty that has been handed down to you – as does everybody else.

So, we have to ask ourselves, can God deliver us from what we’ve become?

Shall a faultfinder contend with the Almighty? Job 40:2 ESV

Who then is able to stand against Me?….Everything under heaven is Mine. Job 41:10, 11. NKJV

For I am persuaded beyond doubt (am sure) that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities, nor things impending and threatening nor things to come, nor powers, nor height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation will be able to separate us from the love of God in Christ Jesus our Lord. Rom. 8:38, 39. AMP

He has delivered us from the power of darkness and conveyed us into the kingdom of the Son of His love, in whom we have redemption through His blood, the forgiveness of sins. Col. 1:13, 14. NKJV

And the God of peace will soon crush Satan under your feet. Rom. 16:20 NASB

So, who is the faultfinder, if not that voice in our head that is modeled after the words of the devil himself? God’s got him handled. Indeed, nothing can stand against our God. He uses His might to thrust aside anything that would impede His love from covering you. That includes blasting away Satan.

For I know the thoughts and plans that I have for you, says the Lord, thoughts and plans for welfare and not for evil, to give you hope in your final outcome. Jer. 29:11 AMP

“I, even I, am He who blots out your transgressions for My own sake; and I will not remember your sins.” Is. 43:25 NKJV

He does not deal with us according to our sins, nor repay us according to our iniquities. For as high as the heavens are above the earth, so great is his love toward those who fear him… Ps. 103:10, 11. ESV

Stand fast therefore in the liberty by which Christ has made us free… Gal. 5:1 NKJV

God has a good plan for you and if you stick with Him, He’ll see that you gather the fruits of it.

It doesn’t matter what you have thought or done; when you confess and repent, God wipes the slate clean.

Furthermore, He will also eliminate all of the damage wreaked by your ill-begotten condition:

“Do not call to mind the former things, or ponder the things of the past. Behold, I will do something new, now it will spring forth…” Is. 43:18, 19. NASB

Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy-laden and overburdened, and I will cause you to rest. [I will ease and relieve and refresh your souls.] Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle (meek) and humble (lowly) in heart, and you will find rest (relief and ease and refreshment and recreation and blessed quiet) for your souls. For My yoke is wholesome (useful, good – not harsh, hard, sharp, or pressing, but comfortable, gracious, and pleasant), and My burden is light and easy to be borne. Mt. 11:28 – 30. AMP

The fear of man brings a snare, but whoever leans on, trusts in, and puts his confidence in the Lord is safe and set on high. Pr. 29:25 AMP

I sought the LORD and He answered me, and delivered me from all my fears. Ps. 34:4 NASB

For You formed my inward parts; You wove me in my mother’s womb. I will give thanks to you for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; wonderful are your works, and my soul knows it very well. Ps. 139, 14. NASB

Unload yourself. Give up all of your troubles and anxieties to Christ and walk the good, unburdened and light-filled road. Gone is fear (and thus anger, jealousy, and envy as well). Dead and buried is the self-judgment when you realize how wondrous God made you. And guess what? You will then be an extremely desirable person that draws in extraordinary relationships, which will complete your exceptional life…

Now that should be the end of the story. There is nothing that God cannot or would not do for you.

The caveat is ‘free will.’ You must choose to ask God to help you.

But sometimes you don’t.

Next time…
Good night and God bless.

What’s Missing In Your Relationships?

For many people, that would be God who’s missing. He’s absent because they’ve hidden from Him due to an illusion they harbor (a voice in their head) that tells them there is either something they’ve done or some inherent component about themselves that makes them unacceptable and unlovable.

Nothing could be further from the truth. There is nothing wrong with anyone. God is always a forgiving God and He loves everyone.

Nevertheless, many of these people cling tenaciously to their presuppositions and it brings them unparalleled misery. It stems from personality changes that result from stinking thinking. We’ve been examining this process in detail (seeing as how our very lives are at stake) since mid-July, beginning with the post How the Devil Stole Your Soul.

The damage to one’s life has been easily apparent, as we’ve seen what happens when fear, anger, obsessing over the past, self-centeredness and an inability to communicate grips his or her persona. It brings havoc to every facet of life, ultimately tearing away the joy from its very center of life, which is relationships -relationships with God, self and others.

God tells us that relationships are everything; but these poor souls don’t experience them or what they do participate in is a hollow shell of what a relationship could be. Now, we’ll look at how they cope…

We’ve seen that people who do not love themselves, live in fear that relationships with others will mirror that lack of self-love. Feeling this way, they shrink away from connecting with others because they believe it will only bring pain. Thus, they busy themselves with religiosity, addictions or self-improvement – all in a fruitless search for happiness.

However, loneliness brings its own measure of pain as well. Eventually, most lonely people reach a point where they can no longer suppress their need for love and begin to blindly search for scraps of it wherever they think it may be found.

Yet their strategies are amiss.

One such strategy is to become a ‘people-pleaser’ – always giving, trying to show someone how you would like to be loved through your actions towards them. Still, it always seems to be a one-way street, one where your needs are never fulfilled. Instead, you find yourself performing for your partner to check their wrath, or to try to glean some smidgen of acceptance. Your hopeless hope is that if you do enough good things for them, they will magically figure out all your needs and meet them. Highly unlikely.

Another strategy (?) is to throw common sense aside and ditch your boundaries.

We are all one in the eyes of God, yet we are each unique – someone whom God created to bring a contribution to His children that no other person can bring. So there is a boundary that demarcates us as a distinct creation, a limit that says, ‘Within this border is me and outside my border exist others.’

When we’ve been beat up by life and scramble to find relief, we let our solid boundaries become ‘fuzzy lines.’ We lose the ability to decide what is good for us because we now base our level of happiness on the amount of acceptance we can get from others. In other words, we begin to mesh with the desires of others (whether or not they are good for us) and lose track of who is responsible for our feelings, beliefs, choices, or actions.

Thus we invite problematic relationships: idealizing even the most toxic kind, afraid of losing what is actually harmful to us, enduring punishment, shame, or condemnation in order to avoid abandonment. We try to compel our ‘partner’ to love us. However, you can’t make anyone love you.

Yet another strategy is to go one the hunt for ‘the One,’ you know, that perfect person who doesn’t have your flaws and will love you perfectly – the one who can save you.

If you loved yourself, you wouldn’t have to hunt. Love from others would be naturally attracted to the availability and invitation that your inner love would radiate outwards. But when you hunt, your desperation is palpable and it only attracts other hunters.

A hunter is loneliness personified – a desolation begotten from self-rejection. So the hunt begins for ‘The One’ who will make you whole and your world come together. Ironically, that voice in your head encourages you to hunt, because it is backhandedly implying that you are not able to provide the love you need for yourself, i.e. you need The One.

If you cannot provide love for yourself, you will have a difficult time recognizing it when others offer love to you. And should you think you found The One that voice will tell you that he or she is not, because true love means certain death for that rascal.

Desperate love hunters (and they’re all desperate), attract other hunters who live at the same level of suffering; and in the initial rush of attraction, they blind themselves to any ‘red flag’ characteristics their potential partner may possess in order to fill their aching need for intimacy.

Indeed, the hunter looks at ‘The One’ with rose-colored glasses, trying to paint the ideal romance – only seeing the similarities that they share with their new partner, (i.e. the things they like best in themselves). They think, ‘This is it!’ And they let their walls down, giddy with the notion of being in love.

Eventually though, each hunter’s stuff (their differences) begin to surface and the romantic dream begins to fray at the edges. The differences are perceived as problems that impede their agenda.

Instead of seeing how these dissimilarities might be seeds for growth, you begin to make your partner wrong for having them. Suddenly, you remember what was wrong with your previous relationship – mystified that the same problem is showing up again, refusing to see that you might be the creator or at least the co-creator of it.

Your answer for ‘fixing’ the problem may be to try to make your partner change by demonstrating for them the perfect way you do the things that need to be done. (At this point, you are judging them, blinding yourself to who they really are. You’ve formed an opinion steeped in self-righteousness. Thus, your partner must be wrong, and what’s wrong about them is the thing you see in them that you don’t accept about yourself. So, most of the time, it’s not your partner that’s the problem.)

Now, the relationship doesn’t’ feel safe and your partner can feel your mistrust. Resentment builds on both sides – each thinking the other should try to be more like them. Competition begins for both attention and control, each seeing the other as the malevolent perpetrator and themselves as the victim who makes all the sacrifices.

Survival strategies ensue – either passively modeling the behavior they want to see from the other or aggressively punishing by withholding love, spewing degrading or caustic speech, or distancing themselves to avoid facing their past once more.

The old hurts begin to surface and outward conflict begins. Each sees the other as the enemy but inwardly believes the relationship is failing because of some lack they themselves possess. Ultimately, one will either anesthetize him or herself, or they will walk away. Either way, the unresolved issues remain dormant until the next ‘One’ shows up and another cycle repeats.

Some poor souls will stay in these toxic relationships because they believe that what they perceive as scraps of love will be enough to survive on as they wait expectantly for that highly intermittent dole out. In that space, they say ‘yes’ to vile things, afraid that their ‘no’ would bring abandonment.

The only way a healthy nurturing relationship can work is if we make a continuing choice to be related, bringing our love and compassion to it, live out a commitment to be present with our partner, and stay awake to whatever life is offering.

Most people can’t get to that space because their focus is always upon their own needs. They bring no empathy, compassion, love or understanding. What they bring is self-defense and control. And then they wonder why their relationships don’t last.

When you practice relationship this way (and it’s hard work), you never have the presence of mind to experience the love you seek.

No wonder people have such a hard time with relationships and / or give up on them altogether. It’s because there is no love brought to the relationship because neither have invited God (through Christ) into it. After all, He is love, our primary source for love, and our model for sharing it.

So, is there a solution to all of the heartsick mind abuse that so many of us have heaped upon ourselves? ABSOLUTELY!!

Next time…
Good night and God bless.